I just don't get it

Ok so lately I've been hearing some things about how other girls have been behaving towards guys. I'm not saying any names or anything because truthfully I've been told these things in confidence and I really don't want to violate their trust. That said, I just don't get it.

So, we all know dating (and love in general) is hard work. It can go wrong any second and I always second guess myself. 'Should I have said that?' 'Why did I say that?' 'Is he truly interested in me?' are questions that probably cross your mind as well as they do mine.

Sometimes it just don't work. You decide that it's better to end it and move on. But what if you're not given the chance to move on? I don't have too much experience dealing with break-ups but I do have some sense of what you should and shouldn't do.

Last wednesday I hung out with a guy who had been cranky all morning. He's been a little short with words and, you know, you noticed something was off. This is a guy who is so sweet, nice and handsome and he's truly a good guy. So it was a little weird to see him like that. I hadn't really seen it before. Sometime during the day truth came out. His ex had told him she's met someone else and it had really hit him hard. He actually started crying. I had never seen him cry before that. He told us (me and another girl) the entire story.
What became obvious was that this girl had broken it off, but he'd never really gotten a chance to get over her. She'd kept coming back and since he still loved her, they made some mistakes together. If you had seem him when he told us this, you would've understood all that. At some point I asked him if I could hit her. He said 'go ahead'.

I just don't get it. Maybe it's me and my lack of experience with this, but I know that you have to give someone time to get over something like a relationship. They had been together for a year and a half but 'very intense right off the bat' according to him. Especially then, you should give someone time to get over you. I wanted to be friends with my ex, but I noticed when he'd moved on and had a new girlfriend that it hurt. I wasn't good enough for him anymore and he'd found a replacement (at least that is what it felt like). Is it too difficult to understand that this feeling might not only happen for me but also for a guy? Especially after a relationship so intense, of lasting for let's say 5 years?

There are girls out there who are afraid after breaking it off with their ex. Maybe they regret it? I can see that since you step out of something that there is now a void. You're trying to fill it with something else, sometimes a new relationship (*rebound, cough*) but you'll need to find a way to deal with this 'loss' cause after all, you're losing something.

I don't think these girls read my blog but if you're ever in a situation like this, where you've broken things off with someone then please remember this:

You have ended something that has given you joy and happiness, but it didn't work out. You have to find something else to do with your time (and on your own). Just don't keep going back to your ex. He/She will have to get over you just the same. It hurts to find out that you're no longer 'special enough' anymore to your ex. Give them time to heal and don't keep getting in touch with them. If you want to become friends, then give it some time. If he/she is ready and willing, they will come to you.

Hopefully I'll remember to give someone time as well. I'm not the ex, but there is still some hurt there. Just keep in mind, i'm not walking away.