How to.. deal with loss

I was actually planning on discussing how to get good grades, but in light of recent events in my family I decided otherwise.
Every person will - at some point - have to deal with losing someone in their lives. This could be as small as losing a pet or or big as losing a (close) relative. Now I'm only speaking from my own experience, which at this point in my life it seems a lot, but I feel that this is the only way to address it.

My first funeral I attended was that of my grandmother. She had been suffering from memory loss and with it losing all awareness of the present. She lived in her own world. It was early in the morning when our phone rang. It was my uncle calling, telling us that we should get in the car and come over because it was going to be over shortly.
We were too late, and my mother decided to go back home after saying goodbye and then return for the funeral. To this day she regrets not being able to help organize the funeral and giving it her all. She still feels that she hasn't said a proper goodbye.

After that, this I remember well, my grandfather died. At the time I was still studying Journalism and again we received a call very early in the morning. It think it was around 4:30 am. Again my uncle. We had to come over quickly. This time my other uncle was standing outside of the home where my grandfather lived and quickly he brought my mum inside. My third uncle brought me to his home where my niece and nephew were and to give my mom and his wife some privacy. My mom was in time, this time, and she got to say her goodbye. Afterwards we stayed with my aunt and uncle (the third uncle, and my mums youngest sister) and we all helped with the arrangements for the funeral. I wrote some envelopes for the cards and found a song to be played during the ceremony. (Flying Without Wings - Westlife - Instrumental version.) With both my grandma and grandpa I drew a picture of butterflies that was layer next to them.

The last funeral I attended was that of my oldest uncle. He was married to my moms oldest sister. This was during the second week of this school year. He was suffering from cancer which is a disease that is very common in our family. His daughter has breast cancer and is in her last stage of her life and my niece from my moms second oldest sister also has a form of breast cancer.

Today i saw an update on Facebook that hit me hard. The daughter of my recent past uncle wrote that her biggest wish would be fulfilled when her husbands sister and her family would be coming over. especially the words "... for the last time" hit me hard.

Now, how can you deal with loss? First is probably to talk about the person. But be honest, you can't really do that right away. You have to calm down first. But when you're not too emotional anymore you can start talking about the nice times you had with this person. Remember the good times, and yes even the bad times. Celebrate the lives they had.

Then comes the time when that anniversary comes around. The first time I realized that my grandpa was gone for 6 months was early on in the new school year. It was the same date as my student finance would payout another month. Exact date. It hit me hard and got me tearing all the way home. What can you do? I think that you just have to let it go. Cry if you need to. Just don't put it away and not feel. You have to feel. If you don't, you'll end up botteling it up and it will come out at some point.

For me it was difficult to listen to that song i had picked, even though during the funeral it had been instrumental. It took me another year and a half after that. Slowly but surely i could listen to the song again without crying. Not at first though. The first notes could get me balling and that would go on until the song had ended. But again just go through it.

And, well, all you can do is just go on. So like I said, remember the person by talking about them, celebrating their lives and just love them as much as you did before. Time heals all wounds, or so they say. I can only speak for myself but I have to agree. As you can see I can talk about it now so yes I have dealt with it, but something like that little comment "...for the last time" can sure hit you hard. I'll have to attend her funeral at some point but I hope that it is still a while from now. I just don't want to loose another person in my life.