Book Review #5: Silver Shadows by Richelle Mead

Richelle Mead has come up with another gem. I have been a fan of hers since reading Vampire Academy in 2008. This is book #5 of her spin-off series Bloodlines and focuses on Sydney Sage and Adrian Ivashkov (who we know from the VA series). 

I am 1 chapter short of finishing this book, but I wanted to review it already. 

The story continues where book 4 stopped, with Sydney being captured by the alchemists because she's being too friendly with the moroi. In the book we see how she's doing in re-education and we follow the acts of Adrian as he tries to find and free her. I'm not gonna spoil anything because it is simply too enjoyable to read it for yourselves.

I love this book. I'm a little biased though because I have loved both series by Richelle that revolve around this moroi, dhampir, strigoi and alchemist world. I find I really feel for the characters and want to find out what happens as soon as i've finished another chapter.

I can't wait to read the final instalment of the series, the ruby circle, which will be released 3 days after my birthday (which is February 7) so keep february 10 marked if you want to read it right when it comes out.

Stars: ****

We bought a tree....

Do you know that feeling? Excitement because you just bought something that kind of marks a new step in your life? When i was little I was very excited to buy my first official CD. I remember it was Britney Spears' Oops... I did it again. 

These days I don't get too excited anymore about purchases, except for those big ones. The first big one was buying my very own computer. It meant I didn't have to sit in the living room anymore and could now work in private. The next would probably be my very first car. But yes... I'm excited because we bought a tree.

Now I realise I should elaborate on what kind of tree. Especially since there are so many trees so what makes mine so interesting? To be honest, it's a christmas tree. Why am I excited? It is my very own christmas tree and its the first one I bought for myself. Well, in all honesty I'm even more excited because I bought it with my boyfriend. My first christmas with him, and we already have a tree. I should point out that we bought it the second of November. Are we crazy? maybe a little. Am I excited? Very much. 

xo 

Nightmares.. spooky scary

There was a time when I could sleep through anything. I have to admit, I slept in the room closest to the street, where kids older than me would still be playing outside in the summer sun. Because of that I was able to sleep through anything... with almost no bad dreams.

It is said that people dream at least 7 dreams a night. Most of them we don't remember, but sometimes I'm one of the lucky few who are on the brink of waking up, and am able to remember most of my latest dream. This however makes it able to remember the bad ones as well.

Last night I woke up, or I should say early in the morning, and found my boyfriend shivering all over. He was making small sounds as well, and I had a feeling he was having a bad dream. I know you should never wake up a sleep walker, but I don't know how and if that rule applies to those with nightmares. So just in case i tried to wake him up slowly. So I softly said his name a couple of times and hugged him and whispered a little to wake him up. It worked though because he slowly woke up and opened his eyes. Turns out he had been dreaming that terrorists had come in the building where he works and started shooting. When I heard he had had a nightmare I was happy I had woken him up.

This is not a stand alone situation though. In the last couple of weeks he's had 2 and I have had one as well. That might not sound as much, but I rarely remember any dreams, let alone bad ones. Mine showed my insecurities though, because apparently somehow I was scared of him cheating on me. And to be honest, he is not the type to do that. And his nightmare before that was of me leaving him. Apparently I had been mad at him and had just walked out. Well, let me asure you, I wouldn't do that on anyone. I would at least try and solve the issues.

So now I just don't know what to think. Are we scared of this? Maybe we're not sharing our true fears and they manifest in bad dreams? I never read about this in the 'explain your dream' articles. Oh well, guess I have to invest in a dreamcatcher. Would be a fun christmasgift, right?

xo Chantal

OMG... 1 month and so many changes!

I am SOOOO sorry for not blogging sooner! My last post was a month ago! OMG I'm so ashamed. I feel like I have to talk you through last month..
So here it goes....

August 31st: the day at which me and M officially became a couple. He asked me, for those wondering. It had taken some time after we started dating, and yes I'd let him know that I really wanted us to be an item. But he needed time and obviously I care way too much about him to not give him that. So on August 31st we were in the city in a book store where i found this book. It is sort of a journal, filled with questions. 1 question per day. I bought one for myself for the next 5 years, and there was also one for 'lovers' for 3 years. He secretly bought it and used it to ask me. It was the sweetest and cutest thing ever.

September 1st: My first day of school. It was interesting to see how busy the classrooms were. They had decided to cram everybody in 3 classes instead of making a fourth one. As the month progressed though less and less people started to show up for the course classes. In a way it has worked out fine that way.

Something I can't put a date to: I have been experiencing some major headaches. Some of which have led to nausea and gotten me close to vomiting. Now that isn't really cause to worry, but when I started crying over not being able to make hamburgers out of minced meat, I had some alarm bells going of. Luckily after a quick test I was worry free again (honestly I knew it was impossible any way, but I like to be sure) so we decided that I should visit the doctor.
She examined my neck and got to the conclusion that stress has been leaving its toll on my neck muscles and that this must be the cause of my headaches.
The problem with my headaches however is that I haven't been able to attend most of my thursday classes. They follow 2 busy days at my internship, which means I have to carry my very heavy book back/laptop bag (including laptop + power cord) and that's not good for my neck or back. So yes I have been dealing with missing classes and still trying to keep up with everything

So... onto today: I had a meeting with one of the Deans that work for my school. I had been advised to go there by my class mentor. The Dean was very kind and advised me to focus my attention on the courses that I know I can pass for sure and to do the other class later, or next year if necessary. You can imagine how much better I feel now, since that has brought my stress level waaaaay down.

Oh well. That was a fairly quick overview of my past month. I'll try and blog more often. After all, I have soo much more to talk about. The game 'Destiny' for example LOL

xo - Chantal

September 11

13 Years ago, today, the world was shaken by a horrible attack on innocent people. Too many lives were lost and others were ripped apart because they were torn apart by losing their mother, father, sister, brother or other relative.

When thinking back of events in the past, us humans like to compare notes. Often I hear the question "Where were you when it happened?" Sometimes I can't answer at all. It simply has merged with the rest of my life and I cannot remember what I was doing.
This is not the same for this date. After all, I was 11.
It was a school day. I had just returned home and had turned on the television. My mother has this habit of turning the tv off while on the channel 4. This was also the case that day. As soon as I turned on the television, news was broadcasting. I normally didn't care much for the news yet, but this shocked me. Cause no, my eyes weren't deceiving me. I did just see footage of a plane crashing into a very large building.

Normally I start flipping channels until I would reach a child's channel or something with cartoons. This day I didn't. Hours later when my mom returned home from work, I was still watching the events happening in the city of New York. At the time I wasn't even too much aware of the US. All I knew about it was what I had seen in series and movies. But that day I became aware of a world far beyond mine that was now grieving and dealing with a loss.

During the night more news came. More planes were hijacked (a word i didn't know before that day) and we even heard that there may have been a dutch woman or man who had died in the twin towers. We saw the buildings coming down. I saw the second plane hit the second tower. I was shocked. I wasn't aware that people were capable of doing this to other people. After all, I never really showed any interest in news at the time.

We're 13 years later, 13 years in which a lot has changed. The man who is said to be the leader and maybe the mastermind of the attack has been killed. There has been a third world war, though nobody seems to classify it as such and millions and millions of people have been affected by this. In one way or another.

I just wanted to take some time to think of not only the people who were lost during the attacks, but also all of the people who have been affected in any way by what happened 13 years ago. In the past few months I met someone who had his brother in the middle east, as a result of these attacks. Luckily this brother came home unharmed, but I can't begin to imagine how something like that could affect my life. The constant fear of losing that person.

My thoughts go out to all of those who lost their lives during the attack, and during the war that followed. You never asked for this, it was thrown upon you. I wish strength to those who have to live on without their loved one. Remember them as they were, loving and kind hearted.

x - Chantal

Exhaustion setting in

If you've read my earlier blog entry, you know I was actually very excited about the new school year. Well.... that has gone away... and quickly.

Last year I had teachers who were able to keep you awake for two hours because they came with ways to keep you active during their lesson. Making charts, or whatever else.... it helped.

This year, no teacher is helping us at all stay awake. In all honesty, my classmate fell asleep in class last thursday because it was that boring. 

And while I haven't fallen asleep yet, I'm not far from it. This last lesson we had, we had a teacher who wanted the class to be quiet, while she wanted us to work together and come to a common solution regarding questions. Is she insane? No talking while we have to discuss the questions? IS SHE INSANE?

I am so tired right now, simply from her shitty teaching. Please kill me (now, please?)

CD Review #2: Patterns EP

Cassie's back. I remember the slim shady song that starts with 'guess who's back, back again' and every time i write ... is back my mind finishes the line with that.

Anyway, Cassie's back with a new EP. It has been released for a while now, since August 12. It was available for stream on Spotify since the 5th, but only 7 days later it was released worldwide.

I have to be honest, I've always been a Cassie fan ever since i first got to know her as Manny in Degrassi. In 2005 I fell in love with her style of music and ever since i've enjoyed listening to her songs. This EP was not different. I actually took out a free 7 day subscription on Spotify to be able to listen to it during work. After those 7 days I immediately bought it on Itunes and had it downloaded on all my computers and devices.

The EP consists out of 6 songs, and all of them are different than her last EP sounded like. She keeps inventing herself. I can honestly say that so far I haven't heard any album or EP that sounded exactly the same as the previous one.

Patterns seems to be a little darker than her previous EP called Shifty. Where Shifty was very upbeat and almost happy, this EP sounds dark and deep. I love the slow tempo of the songs and the obvious background beat. It took me a couple of times listening to it to get used to the new sound but since I love finding new sounds to listen to, that wasn't hard to do.

With Cassie you never know what to expect. Her Vines are hilarious, her acting is awesome and true and her songs... they just blow you away. If you haven't yet, you can get the EP on Itunes, Spotify and i'm pretty sure Amazon as well. GET IT

xo Chantal

Counting Down

So... before you start reading this there is one thing you need to know. I like school. And i mean REALLY LIKE it. I enjoy attending classes, spending time with classmates and actually cracking open the books.

I've started counting down, because in 8 days I'll be attending my first classes of the new school year. I'll be starting my second year of 4 years and this year I'll be dealing with 2 mayor things - 2 day internship and a 10 week stay in and english-speaking country. I'm looking forward to the internship, and in a way even more to the 10 weeks away, but I also know that I'll really miss people who stay back home. Hopefully they'll be able to visit.

So I'm counting down. I have a calendar on my closet door. It has been there since january, and it's easy because I can cross of the day that has passed. Today is sunday, which means in 8 days it'll be september 1st and i'll be attending my first reading of the year, of a course I'm not familiar with, with a group I might not be familiar with. So I'm getting another opportunity to meet new people and maybe some new friends.

This also means something else. It means that from that week on I'll be a whole lot closer to M. I can actually get out of the bus enroute to school and walk over to his house. So... yes I'm excited!

I'm counting down. Count down with me?


xo Chantal

The art of gifting

It has been four weeks since my last post and a lot has changed. I've started my summer job (at this office which acts as a kind of mediator between phone companies and phone resellers I guess) and I've hung out a lot. Finished a school project, and started another one. Oh and yes, also not too much fun, been having some breathing problems lately. Anyway, since you're all caught up again with my life, here I go with my post.

So for a while this little piece of 'canvas'- i'll just call it - was very empty. I had no idea what to talk about. So I was looking over at a card which i received on my last birthday from a close friend and his wife. I read it again and couldn't help but smile. Now, for you to understand why that made me smile you have to know this. His name is Daniel and her name is Marieke. They met shortly before I met Daniel and since Daniel and I hitted of, I got to know and care for Marieke as well. This girl, she's so sweet and kind. And he's just the same. The perfect couple - really.
Anyway, they called on my bday and asked if it would be ok if they could come over. Obviously I said yes. So they came over and brought a delish box of truffles with them (the chocolate kind). It was such a sweet gift.

So yes, this leads to my beef of tonight. How do you know what to get someone for their birthday? Some people are so spoiled these days. They don't see the value of getting a gift - no matter what it is - and don't appreciate the fact that someone took the time to go out and shop for something.
The last birthday gift I bought was for a really sweet guy. I hadn't known him for too long and still I wanted to get him something for his birthday. But, what to get? I kept my eyes open for a while, looking and mostly listening to what he might like. In the end I had bought him a small cute teddy which had a shirt which said 'big hugs' on it and got us 2 tickets to an amusement park which I knew he really liked. In the end it turned out to be the best gift I've ever given to someone. But even during our trip to the amusement park I was not completely sure I had given the right gift.

I find it easier to shop for a gift for a girl. After all, us girls talk too much anyway so we know each other a whole lot better than I know guys sometimes. I honestly never know what to get Daniel, or Tiewen or Mitch, or even my cousin.

For those of you out there who find it difficult as well, I've been thinking about ways to find out what would be the perfect gift.
First: just ask them what they like. Or ask their significant other - if they have one. They might have an idea.
Second: Remember that it is all about the thought behind it. You can get something small that means a lot to you and the other person. They will love it sooo much.
and third: don't be afraid of getting the wrong gift. I've been there, done that. Not worth all the worries. just go with your gut. Go for something funny that will make you laugh or go for something sweet when you want to get something romantic or what displays what the other person means to you.
Ooh and try browsing online. There are always things you can find online that you may not have thought about at first. Oh and enjoy.

Good luck!

I want a yearbook

I've been watching One Tree Hill and in the fourth season they get their yearbooks and have everybody sign theirs. I LOVE this concept. Who doesn't want a yearbook and be able to look in it 20 years from now and read all the sweet messages people write in them?
So, why is it that we don't get a yearbook? I'd like it. Some people who started this year with me have already parted ways with us and I'm sure that I won't be seeing some of the ones who are left in the upcoming years. So here is a short overview of what happened during this school year, consider it my yearbook.

At the beginning of school I met my class, of at least 30 people. We all came with the idea of becoming an English teacher. Only half have made it to the end.

I made friends with a couple of people, mostly girls. Two of them have become my go-to-co-workers. The other girls have become my 'hang-out-on-a-slow-schoolday' crew.

I have passed all my exams. Only two resits in the entire year. My highest grade was a 9,5/10. My lowest is a 6.

I met a very nice group of people who I've spend my entire first internship with. That was awesome. I've even managed to arrange next year's internship with one of the girls. AWESOMESAUCE

And and and... yes I've even fallen in love.

What can I say? I loved this year. I met some cool new people, some not-so-cool new people and I've reached my goal, which was passing this year and making it to the next. All I have to do now is finish the final 2 papers, hand them in and get that Propedeuse. Wish me luck!!

xo

50 questions....

So I like this game on my phone called 'The Test' where you and someone else answer questions and the other person tries to guess what you answered. It's actually really fun and it gave me the idea to answer some questions I found online. I'm going to answer them shortly but completely honest. If you'd like some more info then you can comment. So, let's start:

1. What is one thing you will never do again?

- I will never let someone control me, ever again.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

- I think i'm smart enough so I'd rather be twice as happy. Though in all honestly I'm pretty happy lately :D

3. What happened the last time you cried?

- I was on my period (hormones people) and watching a series in which a school shooting happened and someone died and he was a very beloved character and because of the raised emotions... you guessed it LOL

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something?

- I was about to lose my v-card

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?

- That I'm even lazier than they think

6. What’s your worst habit?

- checking my phone waaaaay too many times to see if i've received messages

7. What superpower would you have for one day?

- I'd like to be able to fly, NYC or Japan, here I come

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?

- There was a time I was team Edward, but lately I've been crushing on 'Bloodlines's Adrian Ivashkov.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

- I would love to live in the UK or US for a period of time

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve?

- When people don't finish their sentences. People, I'm naturally curious!

11. Who knows you the best?

- My best friend Kim, but slowly that is becoming a tie with someone els :)

12. What after school activities did you do in high school?

- I was a majorette for 12 years, so also during my high school period. Drawing was the second.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive?

- ... write a romance novel

14. What’s the last book you really loved?

- really really really loved is 'Divergent' by Veronice Roth

15. What was the greatest television show of all time?

- There are a couple which I love soo much so I can't pick but right now 'One Tree Hill' is playing in the background. Love that show!

16. What’s been your favorite age so far?

- well, 24 is actually a nice age so far. 

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

- Don't worry too much about what people think of you. Those who are important to you will love you no matter what. They accept you for who you are and for what you look like and still love you. 

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it?

- becoming a mom. Trust me, i'm nowhere near ready to be one but i'd really be disappointed if i'd never get the chance. 

19. Apologize or ask permission?

- Apologize. People make mistakes and iI'd rather be sincere and admit I was wrong and say sorry.

20. Unlimited love or money?

- Money would be handy but I think a life would be just as fine with limited money. I'd choose love all the way. 

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do?

- Get on a plane, take M. with me and go to Los Angeles or Toronto and meet Cassie Steele.

22. What’s your most listened to song?

- Right now it's Ya Better Believe by Max Morgan

23. Beach vacation or European vacation?

- European vacation

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at?

- playing the piano

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

- Split it in 3, give one part to my mom, post 1 part on my savings account and use the third part to find myself a house and get a car and pay for my school. 

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with?

- Sophia Bush. She is an actress on Chicago P.D. and I think she's amazing. But then again, I wouldn't be able to meet her so yeah i'd rather stay myself.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album?

- Revelations

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about?

- Not any story really. 

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around?

- Mayonaise

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night?

- two or three I think. Though that one special person is enough as well :)

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far?

- I don't really have a worst age. I think my early teens were the worst cause I wasn't confident at all and was bullied so I felt lonely. But then again I made some friends so I survived. 

32. What is your weirdest deal breaker?

- Can't come up with one right now. 

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself?

- I'd like to think i'm like Haley James Scott from One Tree Hill. She's a very warm and loving person and I love they way she cares about people. I'd like to think I'm just as responsible and caring as her.

34. Do you believe in karma?

- Not really so far. I believe in what comes around goes around, wait... that is what they call Karma right?

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?

- There are too many shows I watched as a kid, but to this day I love the Powerpuff Girls and Dexter's Laboratory and Scooby Doo and all those series that aired around that time. Yes, I was a 90s kid. 

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?

- I don't consider it weird so I'm just gonna say what attracts me in a person, that is their humor. If they can make me laugh, they certainly make a shot. 

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem?

- Anything about tv series. 

38. What is something you’re superstitious about?

- I'm not superstitious. 

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had?

- Nothing specific I can come up with, but i'm not a fan of going somewhere in the dark, so driving on a road I'm not familiar with while it's dark. 

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office?

- We don't have the 'running for office' thing here but I would like to see someone like my friend Daniel run for 'office' since he's really good at speeches. Could get a chuckle out of it. 

41. What cheesey song do you have memorised?

- She's like the wind by Patrick Swayze

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible?

- I would love to have dinner with Elvis. Get the chance to ask him about his life and get to know the real person behind the image of what was the showman. 

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news?

- Yes. 

44. What is the best present you’ve ever received?

- in 2004 my mom gave me my own baton, engraved with my name. (it's the long metal stick you use as a majorette.)

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life?

- NO. I have 3G. I'm allright. 

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day?

- I'd change into a guy then and no I can't think of anything else but finding out what it feels like for a guy to have sex and all that goes with it. 

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom?

- Since my budget is unlimited I'd probably buy a house for my Mom. That way she's set for life and has no more issues with paying things like rent and stuff. 

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you?

- That I look beautiful and that they love me. 

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view?

- Tiny house with a view. I would just buy more stuff to fill the giant house and truthfully I don't need much. I'd much rather have an amazing view to see the sun rise. 

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has?

- They are really loud. I can hear them from way too far away. But they're also very loving and welcoming and all that very loud as well. So yeah I love them. 

I just don't get it

Ok so lately I've been hearing some things about how other girls have been behaving towards guys. I'm not saying any names or anything because truthfully I've been told these things in confidence and I really don't want to violate their trust. That said, I just don't get it.

So, we all know dating (and love in general) is hard work. It can go wrong any second and I always second guess myself. 'Should I have said that?' 'Why did I say that?' 'Is he truly interested in me?' are questions that probably cross your mind as well as they do mine.

Sometimes it just don't work. You decide that it's better to end it and move on. But what if you're not given the chance to move on? I don't have too much experience dealing with break-ups but I do have some sense of what you should and shouldn't do.

Last wednesday I hung out with a guy who had been cranky all morning. He's been a little short with words and, you know, you noticed something was off. This is a guy who is so sweet, nice and handsome and he's truly a good guy. So it was a little weird to see him like that. I hadn't really seen it before. Sometime during the day truth came out. His ex had told him she's met someone else and it had really hit him hard. He actually started crying. I had never seen him cry before that. He told us (me and another girl) the entire story.
What became obvious was that this girl had broken it off, but he'd never really gotten a chance to get over her. She'd kept coming back and since he still loved her, they made some mistakes together. If you had seem him when he told us this, you would've understood all that. At some point I asked him if I could hit her. He said 'go ahead'.

I just don't get it. Maybe it's me and my lack of experience with this, but I know that you have to give someone time to get over something like a relationship. They had been together for a year and a half but 'very intense right off the bat' according to him. Especially then, you should give someone time to get over you. I wanted to be friends with my ex, but I noticed when he'd moved on and had a new girlfriend that it hurt. I wasn't good enough for him anymore and he'd found a replacement (at least that is what it felt like). Is it too difficult to understand that this feeling might not only happen for me but also for a guy? Especially after a relationship so intense, of lasting for let's say 5 years?

There are girls out there who are afraid after breaking it off with their ex. Maybe they regret it? I can see that since you step out of something that there is now a void. You're trying to fill it with something else, sometimes a new relationship (*rebound, cough*) but you'll need to find a way to deal with this 'loss' cause after all, you're losing something.

I don't think these girls read my blog but if you're ever in a situation like this, where you've broken things off with someone then please remember this:

You have ended something that has given you joy and happiness, but it didn't work out. You have to find something else to do with your time (and on your own). Just don't keep going back to your ex. He/She will have to get over you just the same. It hurts to find out that you're no longer 'special enough' anymore to your ex. Give them time to heal and don't keep getting in touch with them. If you want to become friends, then give it some time. If he/she is ready and willing, they will come to you.

Hopefully I'll remember to give someone time as well. I'm not the ex, but there is still some hurt there. Just keep in mind, i'm not walking away.

top 10... most played songs

Ok so after my last post I wanted to share some songs with you that can cheer me up any time. So this time I figured I'd grab my Ipod and tell ya what my most played songs are.

#10: Mad - Cassie Steele
This year Cassie released this song through Itunes and I LOVE it. I got it a minute after the midnight release and it has been playing daily ever since. Why I love this song? First of all because of the lyrics. She says it's ok to be flawed and a little crazy sometimes, as long as you're being yourself. Awesome message!

#9: Sex and Candy - Cassie Steele
Another Cassie song. Yes I'm a big fan of Cassie's and she's awesome and i'm not obsessed at all with her or something and I'm making this sentence waaaaay too long. Ok so this is another recently 'released' song and I love it. This came out shortly after the 'Mad' single and is a cover version of the original song. Which I still haven't listened to though to be honest.

#8: Skipping Stone - Alexz Johnson
Another Canadian singer who is just brilliant. I became familiar with her through the series 'Instant Star' and after that ended I kept an eye on this awesome girl. I was actually very lucky when I got to meet her when she was touring through Europe and she also came to Amsterdam. Obviously I made sure to buy a ticket and go (with a dear friend of mine of course) and she was so sweet and lovely and her voice is just amazing. I'm waiting impatiently to hear new material.

#7: Last Rose of Summer/Walking In The Air - Celtic Woman
This is a song that is just amazingly beautiful. Yes it's a double positive. These women have angelic voices and this song is just so amazing. Chloe Agnew is the one who sings this song and it is just so amazing and soothing. Just give it a listen.

#6: Empty Handed - Lea Michele
As you all know Lea released her debut album at the beginning of the year. Most people would expect the song 'If you say so' would be my fave but no. I love it and it's such a good song and it clearly shows how much she loved Cory but this song is just a little gem. It's hard though to pic a fave from her album, but my ipod don't lie and this is my number 6.

#5: Cups - Anna Kendrick (from the movie Picture Perfect)
I love this movie sooo much. All about the love for music and all that... This song has been stuck in my head ever since the first time i watched the movie and we all know the cups moves and I'm proud to say that i've finally 'mastered' the move (don't expect a video of me doing it though). It's just so good to listen to.

#4: Stuttering - Fefe Dobson
I first heard this song when watching an episode of the short-lived series Hellcats, back in 2011. She was a guest performer and I just fell in love with this song. There was a time when I wasn't listening to it but lately I've been listening to it again. Worth a listen.

#3: Crushed and Created - Caitlyn Smith
By now you'll get the picture, I find great music by watching television series. This song was used in Make It Or Break It, that show about elite gymnasts. I don't remember which season but I got my hands on the song shortly after watching the episode it was in and it has been on my playlist ever since. It's all about getting stronger after a bad time and how you learn from it.

#2: I Want You - Cassie Steele (the rough version)
Back in the day I received an email from Cassie's dad with this song attached. It had just been recorded and it sounded awesome. They wanted to share it with me for my hard work on Cassie Steele Online, her fansite which I run. This song was rereleased with her Shifty EP, and it had been given a pop-jacked but this version i just love too much. You can listen to the song on the site's official youtube channel (and there is a direct link next to her name.

#1: Us Against the World - Play
Lately I've been going through my files again and listening to songs that are really testimonies of my youth. This song was used in the movie 'Holiday In The Sun' which was one of many movies starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's also the one with Ben Easter and Austen Nichols. This song was so playful and fun and just innocent and just awesome to listen to. I don't know what happened to these girls but this song is my current number 1.

To be honest, this is really my top 10 today. It could be different tomorrow. I have just a real broad taste in music and I love finding new artists to listen to and track. So if you have any suggestions let me know :)

Top 5... songs that get me crying

This might seem a little emo after my last post but I keep thinking about posting top-fives and felt this would be a good fit when looking back.
This is my top 5 songs that I love listening to but that does get me emotional.

#5 Cry - Mandy Moore
This song I first heard when watching the movie 'A Walk to Remember' and this song was in the end credits. If you've seen the film you know what I'm talking about. This song is especially emotional if you've just watched the movie, so don't expect the waterworks every time you hear it, but I have shed my fair share of tears when listening to this song so it has to be in my top 5.

#4: Gravity - Sarah Bareilles
To be honest, this is not a song that brings me to tears every time I listen to it, but it's soooo good. I heard this song for the first time when it was featured in the second episode of the Vampire Diaries and it really added to the moment. Ever since then I've been playing the song every once in a while and it is just one that I keep going back to.

#3: Roots Before Branches - Room for Two
This is a song I heard on Glee, when Rachel was moving to New York and Finn decided to stay in Lima. I loved the song so much that obviously I had to get my hands on it. This can get my teary eyed, especially when seeing that scene again. So sweet.

#2: Flying without Wings - Westlife
This is a song that has kept the tissue producers in business for the past few years. I picked this song to play at my grandfather's funeral and as a result I couldn't listen to it for almost a year and a half after that. The fact is, we used an instrumental version during that service and even that was too painful. To this day this song can bring me to tears, especially when they sing it live. During their farewell tour I cried multiple times. With that being said, it is an amazing song and the lyrics are so gorgeous so give it a listen.

#1: I'll see you again - Westlife
Another Westlife song. This one is especially emotional because of the lyrics. It's all about saying goodbye to people you love after they die but never really saying goodbye after all. They say that you'll see them again. There is a video of their live performance of this song online, and that one is especially heartbreaking when you know the background of the group. The two guys in the middle had just lost their dads and you can really feel the emotion. This is that song that, no matter how many times I listen to it, even now I my eyes get watery. This is a really good and beautiful song but I warn you, don't listen to it when you've just lost someone.

I promise, next post will be a little more cheery.

xo Chantal

How to.. deal with loss

I was actually planning on discussing how to get good grades, but in light of recent events in my family I decided otherwise.
Every person will - at some point - have to deal with losing someone in their lives. This could be as small as losing a pet or or big as losing a (close) relative. Now I'm only speaking from my own experience, which at this point in my life it seems a lot, but I feel that this is the only way to address it.

My first funeral I attended was that of my grandmother. She had been suffering from memory loss and with it losing all awareness of the present. She lived in her own world. It was early in the morning when our phone rang. It was my uncle calling, telling us that we should get in the car and come over because it was going to be over shortly.
We were too late, and my mother decided to go back home after saying goodbye and then return for the funeral. To this day she regrets not being able to help organize the funeral and giving it her all. She still feels that she hasn't said a proper goodbye.

After that, this I remember well, my grandfather died. At the time I was still studying Journalism and again we received a call very early in the morning. It think it was around 4:30 am. Again my uncle. We had to come over quickly. This time my other uncle was standing outside of the home where my grandfather lived and quickly he brought my mum inside. My third uncle brought me to his home where my niece and nephew were and to give my mom and his wife some privacy. My mom was in time, this time, and she got to say her goodbye. Afterwards we stayed with my aunt and uncle (the third uncle, and my mums youngest sister) and we all helped with the arrangements for the funeral. I wrote some envelopes for the cards and found a song to be played during the ceremony. (Flying Without Wings - Westlife - Instrumental version.) With both my grandma and grandpa I drew a picture of butterflies that was layer next to them.

The last funeral I attended was that of my oldest uncle. He was married to my moms oldest sister. This was during the second week of this school year. He was suffering from cancer which is a disease that is very common in our family. His daughter has breast cancer and is in her last stage of her life and my niece from my moms second oldest sister also has a form of breast cancer.

Today i saw an update on Facebook that hit me hard. The daughter of my recent past uncle wrote that her biggest wish would be fulfilled when her husbands sister and her family would be coming over. especially the words "... for the last time" hit me hard.

Now, how can you deal with loss? First is probably to talk about the person. But be honest, you can't really do that right away. You have to calm down first. But when you're not too emotional anymore you can start talking about the nice times you had with this person. Remember the good times, and yes even the bad times. Celebrate the lives they had.

Then comes the time when that anniversary comes around. The first time I realized that my grandpa was gone for 6 months was early on in the new school year. It was the same date as my student finance would payout another month. Exact date. It hit me hard and got me tearing all the way home. What can you do? I think that you just have to let it go. Cry if you need to. Just don't put it away and not feel. You have to feel. If you don't, you'll end up botteling it up and it will come out at some point.

For me it was difficult to listen to that song i had picked, even though during the funeral it had been instrumental. It took me another year and a half after that. Slowly but surely i could listen to the song again without crying. Not at first though. The first notes could get me balling and that would go on until the song had ended. But again just go through it.

And, well, all you can do is just go on. So like I said, remember the person by talking about them, celebrating their lives and just love them as much as you did before. Time heals all wounds, or so they say. I can only speak for myself but I have to agree. As you can see I can talk about it now so yes I have dealt with it, but something like that little comment "...for the last time" can sure hit you hard. I'll have to attend her funeral at some point but I hope that it is still a while from now. I just don't want to loose another person in my life.

Falling like a brick

So as I mentioned in my last post, I've gotten back onto the so-called dating horse. Can I even refer to it like that? I wouldn't know, but I'm doing it anyway.
So yes I have begun dating this guy. I'm not going to say his name simply because I'd like that to stay private, I'm sure you'd understand. Anyway I've known him exactly 2 months now.

So I 'met' him on tinder. You're probably familiar with it but it's an app with which you can 'match' yourself up with someone with the same interests or maybe simply because you like his or her pictures. I'm not really into those things cause most people don't take it seriously and are just after sex but my classmates persuaded me to install the app.

For a while nothing much came out of it. In total I had been talking to 4 guys in total that in a way piqued my interest. One of them is the guy I'm seeing. Slowly but surely the other guys never replied anymore, and what can you do then but move on? So that is what I did.

That was until I had 2,5 hours in-between classes and I started 'matching' again. I ran into his profile and was lucky because he lived pretty close. He was working at the time but still managed to reply frequently enough. Immediately we had a topic, our mutual interests.

We started talking more and at some point we decided to meet in person.
What can I say? I loved every minute of it. He made me smile just as much as he did through WhatsApp and that is most definitely a plus.

Now there is this thing that is standing in our way, in a way. He has this ex-girlfriend and they hadn't been broken up too long before he started talking to me. That shouldn't be too much of an issue but so far it has become one. She broke his heart and he says he's not ready for anything steady yet. Though he is only looking for something serious though, but yes, he's not looking for anything right now. Can you see my problem yet??

Over the past couple of weeks I've been spending some quality time with him and slowly but surely I've started to fall for him. I can't help it. It's driving me insane though because I know that he's not ready to commit, and I am. I just don't know how to deal with it.

I've been driving myself insane. Sometimes I just think that he's not interested in me in that way, but then when he's talking I get my hopes up and start thinking.... maybe?
Time will tell but it sure is annoying knowing that he's already impacting my life in such a way that I can't help but think about him when thinking about a future. God i'm falling hard.

CD Review #1: Road Between by Lucy Hale

Lucy Hale just turned 25 today (omg she's only a few months older than me lol) and with that I wanted to review her recently released album.

Now, if you don't like the country sound and style of music, this album is not for you. However I have a hate/love relationship with it. Some sounds so good to me (see what I did here?) and some not at all. I guess it really depends on my mood (first) and of course the quality of the songs.

Lucy's album (titled 'Road Between') is just lovely. She begins with two topical country styled songs that really get you in that mood and as soon as the tunes of 'Nervous Girls' start I was swaying along with the music. That song is so nice and sweet and the lyrics really grab you. Especially the last few lines really tell us how all girls can be strong and beautiful. Love a song with a girl power message.

Maybe it's because I am getting back into the dating scene but I love her song 'kiss me'. It really explains what I feel when I'm on a date with this awesome guy and all you can think about is him kissing you. That feeling is great, just like this song!

'Road Between', 'Lie a little better' and 'That's what I call crazy' are just little gems on their own. Each song breaths warmth and gets you in the mood to dance around.
Then there is 'love tonight' which is really one of those songs that makes you get up from your chair and sing along with the lyrics while bustin' whatever moves you have in you.

'Just another song' is the last track on her regular album, but for those who have the deluxe album, you're blessed with at least 3 more songs. I was lucky to get the deluxe itunes edition :D so i can listen to those songs as well.

What can I say about this album? It is such an unexpected genre when looking at the phenomenon of actress/singer releasing an album but that exactly is what I love about Lucy. This girl just goes her own way making beautiful music with her amazing voice. I'm looking forward to hearing more of her tunes on a next album. Way to go Lucy! oh and Happy birthday!

Stars: *****

Book Review #4: Reasons Not To Fall In Love by Kirsty Mosely

I have been reading a little less lately but with that being said, I do read new material and love finding new writers to love.

One of those newly found (to me) writers is Kirsty Moseley. This lovely woman has some awesome writing out and I have to admit to reading 4 of her books directly after one another.

Now I’m blessed to have been picked to write a review about her upcoming short story.  What can I say? Immediately I feel for the protagonist (Bronwyn) who has to work two jobs to pay her bills while her husband is playing games all day instead of trying to find a new job.

Bronwyn’s sister finally has a baby, Evie, and while visiting her in the hospital, Bronwyn meets a handsome guy, Harrison. He is immediately interested but obviously Bronwyn is in a relationship so she doesn’t act on those butterflies that appear in her stomach when he looks at her. They part ways and only see each other during birthday parties.

We fast forward and meet Bronwyn again. She’s still working hard and her husband is still the lousy guy he was back 6 years when we meet Bronwyn. During one of Evie’s birthday party Finn (Bronwyn’s husband) is openly flirting with the biggest flirt there and if that’s not enough Bronwyn walks in on Finn and some young girl having sex in their bed, she decides that’s it.

As soon as I read that part I saluted her. This woman finally takes a stand and decides she’s worth more than Finn is treating her. There is however a reason as to why she’d been keeping up with Finn for so long that I as a girl can get though. What comes after the break up you’ll have to find out yourself by reading the short story. You won’t regret it. I’ve probably given away too much already so you’ll have to find out for yourself why Bronwyn takes up with Finn for so long and how and what this Harrison person means to her.

stars: *****

I have been provided with some links to where you can buy this awesome short story:

Amazon UK - http://amzn.to/Sx87V4

Amazon US - http://www.amazon.com/Reasons-Fall-Love-Kirsty-Moseley-ebook/dp/B00K875K5A/ref=sr_1_1/188-8817008-8651247?ie=UTF8&qid=1401972532&sr=8-1&keywords=reasons+not+to+fall+in+love

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/book/reasons-not-to-fall-in-love/id876570018?mt=11&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Kobo - http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Reasons-Not-to-Fall-Love/book-KDVnTBM9hkK0TVIPsuihPw/page1.html?s=YXYuBBeoeEGcZOJp834Dzg&r=1

Good material for 12/13 year olds?

As a teacher student I still find it difficult to find material that fits the level of these kids' english. I have to remind myself that this is a second language for them, though obviously it is for me as well. But what material is well fitted?

Lately I have been reading a kids book written by Laura Ingalls Wilder. You may know her, you may not. This woman who was the daughter of a pioneer family wrote about her life in 10 books (at least there's 10 of them in the dutch translation) and it is all about how she grew up in a family that travels through the US in the 1800s. She describes certain chores in large detail and I love that.
This for example could be a good book series to use when teaching english.

But this is only one. These days there's so much material out there to consider. The stories they read in dutch could be too difficult to read in English. However, I don't want to make it too easy either. At that age i read harry potter (obviously in dutch) but would it have been easy enough to read in english? They know the story but could they really follow it if it would be written in a different language?

I'm asking you, yes you other teachers, who could help me with this?
What would be well suited material for 12/13 year olds who learn a second language. Should I think about kids books that are normally oriented towards kids younger than 10? or should O hand them books that their age read but then in english instead of our own language? I'm stuck. any ideas?

please leave a comment if you know something!

xo Chantal

Book Review #3: The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

I started reading this book when a classmates told me about it. We were on the bus heading towards the Utrecht Centraal train station and we were discussing books and she came with this story. She hadn't finished it yet but she told me she was hooked!

So as soon as I was in my train and waiting for it to leave the station heading towards my city I downloaded the preview. Never before had I been this captured by a preview that as soon as I reached the last page I bought the entire book.

The story revolves around a girl (Hazel) battling cancer. Her mother sends her to a support group where she meets a new guy. She starts hanging out with him (He's also a cancer patient, but he's in remission). He falls for her and she for him and he's so sweet to use his 'make a wish' wish to take her to Amsterdam where her favorite author lives to meet him and to find that one answer she has regarding her number one favorite book.

I am not going to tell you any more because the book is just written too good to not read it. You have to and trust me, you'll need tissues. I lend it to a fellow intern and she had finished it in one day and she sent me a whatsapp message saying 'what did you do to me? (crying face)'.

You will fall in love with the girl AND the guy AND this story. Make sure you don't read the last part in public if you're ashamed of people seeing you cry over a book. 

You can get it online, or in any book store. You can also get the movie cover edition with shailene woodley as Hazel. Keep and eye on the movie release (which should be soon) but make sure to read the book first. Trust me, you'll love it (and maybe hate me for it for making you shed a tear).

stars: *****

GET IT

xo Chantal